Been thinking about lists a lot lately. Hell, who hasn’t? Don Imus, recently reemerged from his "nappy headed ho’s" hiatus, has been having fun with various staff and celebrity-guest, "5 Favorite Songs of All-time" lists, and while many of them are set up to be mocked, nearly all of them easily could be.

Rolling Stone magazine likes to think about music lists, and when they do, we get such vomitus as, "The RS 500 Greatest Albums of All Time" and "The RS 500 Greatest Songs of All Time," having handed down these bloated formulations as some sort of received wisdom, spewed forth from the great oracle and arbiter of all things phonic.

Well, horseshit, say I. I mean, The Clash’s London Calling ranks above both Abbey Road and The Beatles ("The White Album")? Velvet Underground and Nico is "greater" than Dylan’s, Blood on the Tracks? Coltrane’s, A Love Supreme is greater than Public Enemy’s, It Takes a Nation to Hold Us Back? Well, Ok, that last one’s true, but two things here: One, everything Rolling Stone knows about John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk, et al., would fit in a gnat’s ass and rattle around in there like a BB in a boxcar. Two, rap and/or hip hop do not go on any lists that contain the words, "greatest" and "music" in the same sentence. Unless, that list pertains solely to rap and/or hip hop, which, in any event, would be a very, very short list.   

And now that I think about it, three – don’t put jazz, country, R & B and soul songs on a "greatest" list of pop and rock music. It does a disservice to all of these genres. The inference by Rolling Stone is that these lists are comprehensive and complete, which, if that is truly the case, then where are Mozart, Bach and Tsaichovsky? (And yes, I do appreciate that gospel/blues/bluegrass/country/jazz, etc. form the foundation for modern rock and roll, but taken to its logical conclusion, if George Jones, Patsy Cline, Howlin’ Wolf, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and Hank Williams make the cut, then where was, Bill Monroe, Big Mama Thornton, W.C. Handy, etc.?) 

Furthermore, let me be crystal f*#king clear about something: I take a back seat to no one, and I mean not one swinging Richard, when it comes to a love and veneration for The Beach Boys. Hell, I even forgave them for the hideous, "Kokomo," smash hit that it was. However, RS asserts that Pet Sounds is the number two album…Of All Time!? Well, no. It isn’t. It’s not even the best Beach Boys album. Don’t misunderstand; I know why they think it is. Ever since Paul McCartney remarked, rather magnanimously I thought, that it was the inspiration for Sgt. Pepper, critics the world over have been more or less required to marvel at the genius of Brian Wilson busting out all over Pet Sounds, with his use of then-radical synthesizer loops and complex orchestral combinations. And it does, and he is, and all that, etc. It’s just that Rolling Stone and their ilk compile and release these lists and expect the unwashed horde will nod in agreement, never mind that no one would rank his personal favorites in an order resembling anything remotely like what the magazine deigns to be great. 

Yes, of course, the lists are by their very nature subjective, and Jann Wenner would be the first to admit it. However, having been voted on by an acclaimed list of musicians, critics and various experts, there is more than a mere suggestion that these lists are a public service proclamation, as they emanate from a generally recognized popular music authority. And let me be the first to acquiesce in at least the former indispensability of Rolling Stone and their importance to bringing the music of the 60’s and 70’s into sharper focus for millions of fans the world over. Just don’t tell me that Pet Sounds is the number 2 album of all time, second only to Sgt. Pepper, because it renders the entirety of the compilation moot.  

Other indignities abound, too many to mention, but here are a few: in the albums list, Who's Next, irrefutably The Who’s best album, is not in the top 100, while, Tommy is; Moondance, (Van Morrison), Imagine, (John Lennon), Sticky Fingers, (The Rolling Stones), and Meet The Beatles (?), rank below Captain Beefheart’s, Trout Mask Replica. Rumours, Fleetwood Mac, is number 25, against number 54, Hendrix’s groundbreaking Electric Ladyland, number 57, Beggars Banquet, one of the Stones’ best, and number 208, Neil Young’s seminal, Everybody Knows This is Nowhere. Absurd. Rubbish. And the tip of the iceberg.

The 500 Greatest Songs list is as much an assault to the senses, if not more so. The Ronnettes’, Be My Baby is greater than A Day In The Life, Gimme Shelter, The Weight, Tangled Up In Blue and Thunder Road? Fast Car by Tracy Chapman is ranked way above Paint It, Black, Come Together, Baba O'Riley and Tiny Dancer? C’mon, man! Not hardly, and not even close.  

It occurred to me as I perused the RS lists - which have been around for a couple of years now - that between myself and a couple of friends, we could assemble a collection of music that would have considerably more utility than several experts’ attempt at an objective congregate. And so, I am prepared to give to you my favorite several songs and albums, and the top albums and songs by a few friends and family whose opinion I acknowledge and value, and see if you don’t agree. I gave wide latitude in letting the participants compile their lists as they pleased, and most of them simply ignored the request to limit their lists to five. I think you’ll find that you would prefer these songs and albums on an iPod playlist before the Rolling Stone’s so-called "greatest." So, without further ado …

1. Come Together, The Beatles

2. Going to California, Led Zeppelin

3. Gimme Shelter, The Rolling Stones

4. Visions of Johanna, Bob Dylan

5. Time, Pink Floyd

1. Gone, Gone, Gone, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

2. Trampled Rose, Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

3. $29.00, Tom Waits

4. Home, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes

5. Janglin, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes 
~

Now, from a man who has pulled teeth on at least two continents, someone I have always found to be quite attractive, and a self-described Portuguese food expert…the world’s number 1 dentist, Dr. RJR Jr.:

1. Someone Saved My Life Tonight, Elton John

2. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

3. Have a Cigar, Pink Floyd

4. Back Where It All Begins, Allman Brothers

5. Voices Carry, Till Tuesday

6. Under Pressure, David Bowie/Queen

7. Silver Spring, Fleetwood Mac

8. Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits

1. Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd

2. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles

3. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John

4. Skeletons in the Closet, Grateful Dead

5. The Yes Album, Yes
~

The proper response to a request to submit one’s favorite five songs or albums, or what you can’t live without while stranded on a desert island, etc., came from my friend, Pete, whose musical repertoire is truly intimidating, and ridiculous. He emailed, among other choice observations: "…you son-of-a-bitch, you should never ask someone you care about to do such a thing as list 10 albums for a highly f*#king unlikely what-if-desert-island scenario! I’d simply take a 160 GB iPod! Yours, in great frustration and resentment."

Pete sent his favorite 27 albums, in no GODDAMN PARTICULAR ORDER.

1. Domestic Blues, Bap Kennedy

2. These Blues, Charles Brown

3. King of California, Dave Alvin

4. Rain Dogs, Tom Waits

5. Thirteen Years, Alejandro Escovedo

6. Soul to Soul, Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble

7. Hot Rocks, The Rolling Stones

8. Shake 'Em on Down, Furry Lewis

9. Kaya, Bob Marley

10. Physical Graffiti, Led Zeppelin

11. Live at Blues Alley, Eva Cassidy

12. One More Goodnight Kiss, Greg Brown

13. Making History, Linton Kwesi Johnson

14. T-Bone Burnett, T-Bone Burnett

15. Bloomed, Richard Buckner

16. Impossible Dream, Patty Griffin

17. 10-Song Demo, Rosanne Cash

18. The Next Hundred Years, Ted Hawkins

19. Learning to Crawl, The Pretenders

20. Texas Plates, Vince Bell

21. Live at the Old Quarter, Townes Van Zandt

22. Sweet Old World, Lucinda Williams

23. From the Cradle, Eric Clapton

24. Roses, David Olney

25. Rubber Soul, The Beatles

26. Harder the Rest, Culture

27. Furnace Room Lullaby, Neko Case
~

The next entry comes from a person who knows more about Bruce Springsteen than everyone, not to mention more about lots of other artists you’ve never heard of, and once bumped into Beth Orton coming out of a bathroom. She’s a mutual friend of the aforementioned Pete, and submits:

1. Peaceful Easy Feelin', The Eagles

2. Rain, Patty Griffin

3. Your Eyes, Peter Gabriel

4. What's Going On, Marvin Gaye

5. Perfect Girl, Sarah McLachlan

6. Dirty Work, Steely Dan

1. Tapestry, Carole King

2. Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen

3. After the Gold Rush, Neil Young

4. Arc of a Diver, Stevie Winwood

5. Rights of Passage, Indigo Girls

6. Now That I've Found You, Alison Krauss
~

My dearest and best friend in the whole entire world, Keith…well, enough about him. He married Stephanie, (aka KK), a saint, and one who, with good grace and humor, tolerates the two of us and our late night music explorations, reminisces, debates and proclamations, grill debacles and "cups." She likes music too, and submits the following:

1. 1999, Prince

2. Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd

3. Dosage, Collective Soul

4. Crash, Dave Matthews Band

5. Circus, Britney Spears

6. August & Everything After, Counting Crows

7. Harvest, Neil Young

8. Future Sex/Love Sounds, Justin Timberlake

1. Time, Pink Floyd

2. Us and Them, Pink Floyd

3. Phonography, Britney Spears

4. Where the River Flows, Collective Soul

5. Needs, Collective Soul

6. Perfect to Stay, Collective Soul

7. Fuzzy, Collective Soul

8. Raspberry Beret, Prince

9. Sex Type Thing, Stone Temple Pilots

10. Crash Into Me, Dave Mathews Band

11. Harvest Moon, Neil Young
~

As for Keith, had I never known him, I’d be worse off somehow.

Keith’s Songs:

1. Cowgirl in the Sand, Neil Young

2. Heaven, The Rolling Stones

3. Heavy, Collective Soul

4. Words, Neil Young

5. Every Night, Paul McCartney

6. Smile Away, Paul McCartney

7. Junk, Paul McCartney

8. Divine Intervention, Matthew Sweet

9. Carnival, Natalie Merchant

10. Feeling That Way/Anytime, Journey

11. Roll With It, Oasis

12. Vasoline, Stone Temple Pilots

13. I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying, Sting

14. Crazy Mama, The Rolling Stones

15. I'm Mandy, 10CC

16. Yer Blues, The Beatles

16. Bryter Layter, Nick Drake  
~ 

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 As for my own list, I toyed with a few ideas; a favorites collection, a "greatest" compilation, both, or a combination, and finally settled on the latter, after realizing my favorites, together with all the fine music listed above, are indeed also the greatest. So say I, and honestly, what else really matters? In no particular order…

Mike’s Songs:

1. Happiness is a Warm Gun, The Beatles

2. Down By The River, Neil Young

3. My Old School, Steely Dan

4. Sea of Stars, The Silver Seas (formerly, The Bees (U.S.)

5. The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys, Traffic

6. Can't Find My Way Home, Blind Faith

7. Camarillo Brillo, Frank Zappa

8. Freedom, Sons of Champlain

9. Bare Trees, Fleetwood Mac

10. Here Comes My Girl, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

11. Almost Hear You Sigh, The Rolling Stones

12. Yer Blues, The Beatles

13. Wildlife, Paul McCartney

14. Sail on Sailor, The Beach Boys

15. Shelter From The Storm, Bob Dylan

16. Queen Jane Approximately, Bob Dylan

17. Roll Right Stones, Traffic

18. Glass Onion, The Beatles

19. My Sweet Lord, George Harrison

20. Sympathy For The Devil, The Rolling Stones

21. Moonlight Mile, The Rolling Stones

22. #9 Dream, John Lennon

23. Stood Up, John Hiatt

24. Long As I See The Light, Creedence Clearwater Revival

25. Dixie Chicken, Little Feat

26. The Weight, The Band

27. Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands, Bob Dylan

28. Werewolves of London, Warren Zevon

29. Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie

30. Street Fighting Man, The Rolling Stones

31. Sweet Thing, Van Morrison

32. Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five, Paul McCartney and Wings